i'm jordana. glad you're here.

Why do I think it’s so important to combine these two modalities? On their own, they’re both incredible. Through somatic sexology, understanding my body, reclaiming my pleasure and clearing out the shame associated with my sexuality has been so life changing for me. It helped me through the depths of coming out later in life. It helped me unravel internalised homophobia and embody my own version of queerness (which has had many different labels and forms over the years). But most profoundly, this work helped me love and accept myself in a way I hadn’t before.

Something I wasn’t prepared for was queer relating. Talk about being dropped to my knees… Yes, I was feeling secure in my queerness, but when it came to being in a queer relationship (that actually felt good), well, that was a whole different ball game. I had all these wounds come up that I hadn’t really experienced in my straight relationships. The only other time my attachment wounds had felt this painful was in friendships with women. I found myself feeling crazy, so mega obsessed, and then feeling the most excruciating, visceral pain when there was even the slightest bit of pulling away. I felt like there was something wrong with me and didn’t understand how my deep desire to be chosen in a queer romance was fuelling that limerence and exposing my deepest abandonment wounds.

Like many late bloomers, I had an excruciating first heartbreak. I was honestly shocked by the way I abandoned myself and by how badly I wanted to do anything to get back together. I’d chosen the connection with her over the connection with myself and lost myself to the point where I barely recognised who I was. That pain and that realisation are what eventually brought me to this top down and bottom up approach of combining somatics and attachment. Somatic work helps you understand your body, which is crucial for thriving in your queerness. Working with your attachment wounds and getting to know your needs are crucial for building secure partnerships where you actually feel worthy and chosen.